


Tread With Care

by antikytheras



Category: Dishonored (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Friendship, Gen, Kinda, and I don't know how to use tags, in which the Outsider is a klutz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:09:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1529183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antikytheras/pseuds/antikytheras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a reason the Outsider is always levitating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tread With Care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaijuborn on Tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kaijuborn+on+Tumblr).



> Filled for kaijuborn's headcanon on Tumblr that "the reason the Outsider always levitates is because he’s actually super clumsy and trips over everything when he’s not levitating", so technically this isn't completely mine.
> 
> Enjoy.

Corvo didn’t know how or why the Outsider had managed to land himself in his current predicament, and he didn’t think that he would understand, either.

'Do I even want to know?' he asked, not bothering to conceal his amusement from the omniscient deity. He figured that it would be pointless, anyway.

Despite the fact that the Outsider’s entire body was buried beneath a pile of books, Corvo could still tell that his answer came through gritted teeth. ‘No.’

'Need any help?'

'Few men would dare to even think that they could assist me in any way, not when I could tear worlds apart with a single thought.'

The Outsider’s words usually sounded impressive and imposing, but given the current situation, he sounded more like a pouting child.

'Fewer still would even begin to dream of believing me to be a child.'

A spoilt, sullen child.

'I'll take that as a “no”, then,' Corvo said as innocently as he could, and turned to walk out the door.

'Leave, and the little Empress will find out about the surprise party you will be throwing her in three months' time.'

Corvo stayed, making sure to think very clearly about how the Outsider was being a brat. The Outsider was either ignoring him or pretending to not know what he was thinking, because there was no reply.

He stood there, a few strides away from the mountain of books, hands clasped behind his back. In the silence that followed, he picked up a book, making sure to get it from a shelf directly opposite the stack, and began to read about whale oil harvesting methods.

'Civilisations will rise and fall, but your stubbornness will never cease to entertain me.'

Corvo continued to read.

'For me, time is nothing but a drop of water in the vast expanse of the ocean. Yet to you mortals, it is a precious resource that slips, slowly, surely, and irreversibly from your grasp.'

Corvo turned to the next page.

There was a faint mutter that sounded suspiciously like “help me”.

Corvo closed the book, inwardly repulsed by what he had read, and got up.

He walked to the stack of books and picked through the mess, selecting one with beautiful golden lettering against a royal blue cover. 

Then he walked back, and got comfortable in a cushy armchair.

The Outsider’s voice seethed with irritation. ‘Help me.’

'Was that so hard?' Corvo carelessly tossed the trashy romance novel to one side and started to dig through the book mountain.

His only reply was a sullen silence.

Corvo made sure to put all the books back onto the shelf one by one.

'Hurry up,' the Outsider snapped.

He made sure to put all the books back onto the shelf one by one and sort them in alphabetical order.

He could have sworn that he heard a quiet, muffled curse from the man-shaped deity buried beneath the hill of books.

'Hurry up, please.’

'Is this amusing to you as well?' Corvo asked offhandedly, enjoying himself thoroughly.

The Outsider’s silence spoke volumes. With a sigh, Corvo gave in and chucked the rest of the books onto the shelf rather haphazardly.

'You never cease to fascinate me,' the Outsider said nonchalantly as he stood up and dusted himself off. He walked— actually walked instead of floated— toward the shelf and pulled out a book that Corvo had put in upside-down.

'The Young Prince of Tyvia. A badly written piece of erotica, penned by a fully mature young lady of court who has never bedded another in her life. The book is most commonly found in bathrooms and the bedrooms of ladies, and some men.'

'You've read it?'

'I have had the… misfortune of doing so, yes.' He made a face and put it back properly this time.

They stood there, staring at the bookshelf that had emptied itself all over the Outsider, in silence.

Corvo cleared his throat. ‘So… Do you need anything? Food? A room? A walking stick?’

Now that he was in a much less embarrassing position, the Outsider was back to his unflappable self, much to Corvo’s disappointment. ‘Sustenance is still unnecessary, and I do not plan to stay for long.’

'How did you even end up like this anyway?'

'I tripped.'

'Over?'

'The carpet,' he admitted blandly.

'As hysterical as that is, what I meant to ask was how in the world did you end up without your powers?'

'Oh. That.' A flash of annoyance flitted over his face. 'I wondered what it was like to be inconvenienced by gravity and two legs, and I made the mistake of turning myself far more human than I had intended to.'

'So you're saying that you messed up?'

'Of course not. This was entirely intentional.'

'Really?' That was a surprise.

'No. I would never have believed you to be this gullible, Corvo. How is it that you are fit to be Lord Protector? Then again, Jessamine Kaldwin is proof enough of the failures a perfectly competent man can commit.'

Corvo ignored the malicious, thinly-veiled insult and let it slide, just this once. ‘You know, I’m not so keen on the whole idea of “the Outsider walking among us” anymore. I mean, if you were to actually walk…’

'You are as vexing as you are amusing,' the Outsider said wryly, 'but not as much as you are fascinating, for you are endlessly fascinating, my dear Corvo.'

Corvo found himself relaxing as they conversed. Perhaps he could get used to a mortal-but-still-very-annoying Outsider. Maybe he would even enjoy it, just a little. He began to stride out of the room, forgetting, just for a fatal moment, that the Outsider wasn’t used to—

There was a crash, and Corvo groaned.

It was going to be a long day.


End file.
